July 22 – U

363/365 – people to thank who have had an impact on me.  Wow, only 3 more gratitude posts left including this one!!  When I started this journey a year ago, I was a little nervous as to if I would have 365 people to thank.  I didn’t want it to come down to posts such as thanking my mailman for the flyers he delivers in that they were the ones that led me on to some awesome deal!! ; )  Early on in these posts, I started hearing from friends that so and so had made “the list”.  I didn’t understand what that was until I was told that it was my “gratitude list”.  That put some pressure on me to say the least as there was now a “list”.  I didn’t want it to be a list and I didn’t want it to be some type of contest.  Then I heard that some people mentioned they were in the 80s and others were in the 200s!  I do have to make it clear that I haven’t had an order as to who I thank and thus whatever number gratitude post it was has no relation to ranking.  Most posts are the night before or a couple of days before.  Yes, I saved my dad for his birthday as I did with my children for theirs, my mom was first because well she is my mom but save for them and the final two gratitude posts, no one had a day or a number.  The list by the end of Sunday is far from complete.  I could thank another 365 people who got me to where I am today and this is what today’s gratitude post is about – to all of the people I didn’t name and there are hundreds of you that have impacted me!  So many former students, co-workers past and present, family members, inlaws, bosses, professors, fellow students, random strangers, neighbours past and present, friends, backhanded gratitudees (bullies and the like), service providers, celebrities etc, etc – just so many people who have made me who I am and to all of you un-named in this past year, you are part of this gratitude journey just because you were not personally mentioned here doesn’t mean you weren’t recognized by me.  To all the new people that will come in to my life, thanking you in advance as some of you will change and influence me in new ways.  Thank you to all of you who came along with me on this 365 day journey as well.  Your encouragement and support has gotten me to this end point.

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April 2 – Therapy 2.0

252/365 – people to thank who have had an impact on me.  About 200 gratitude posts ago (wow, that’s a big number to comprehend), I showed appreciation for my therapist who got me through my separation, eventual move out on my own, and acceptance of my situation.  I saw her for a year and she acted as a sounding board and was very reflective in nature mirroring what I said (and needed) playing more of a life coach role.  This year, I decided to go back to therapy to now work on myself even further and delve into what makes me who I am.  I had the choice of seeing the same therapist but I decided that she was great at what she helped me with but I needed to find someone who might challenge me further.  This new therapist not only does that but she calls me on things which I was initially taken aback by but I have made huge strides in 5 sessions delving into my childhood and the absence of a father figure.  This therapist “S” also told me that her way may challenge me and it has – she stops me mid-sentence to have me feel the emotion associated with the words/thoughts that I am expressing which is something I rarely do.  She also has taught me how to give numerical value to all the emotions I feel and to also appreciate my own worth instead of looking for others’ approval/trying to win them over with my actions – something that I am totally guilty of and am now cognizant of.  Her therapy sessions are more than just talk at/with but involve the use of props, homework and readings with a big focus on my cognition and also approaching that little boy of 6 or 7 that saw a lot but did not understand it and decided to become the good boy to not disappoint anyone – now that’s what I call a breakthrough.  Getting in touch with the younger me has helped me to see how I became the me of today.  Thank you S for really challenging me to look into myself rather than just superficially at my actions.  I look forward to more sessions to really work on myself to become an even better version of me.