331/365 – people to thank who have had an impact on me. So here we are at the end of another school year. Sadly, they are going way too fast and becoming like blurs which means I’m aging real fast (only 6 years away from retiring full pension – yikes!!). The thing that keeps me going though is the grade 12s that I teach. I love having intelligent, insightful conversations for the most part and I also love the fact that they get my sense of humour and I absolutely love pushing the educational envelope and they love ripping it open to get at the content. I give props to my elementary comrades – I could never do that job. First of all, I don’t like being touched without my consent – thus, having all these young hands pulling and prodding me would drive me crazy and second and more importantly, my sarcasm would be wasted on them and of course they would go home crying and I’d be fired 😉 Now these grade 12s – they amaze me with their talent and knowledge and insight. I mean this year I taught a guy who was a wicked videographer, a guy who just said it like it was, the girl who became the second person ever to score 100% on the psych final paper, the girl who was the psyvivor winner who played it amazingly well, the braniac accounting student…the list goes on and they were all in grade 12. Each and every year, I am inspired and my love for teaching increases that much so. I am already looking forward to next year’s crop of grade 12s and what they will bring to my classes as I have taught several of them in junior grades. Yes, I have won a lottery in life to be able to wake up every day and go to work in a job that I absolutely love and a big part of that is the Grade 12s that I get to work with! Happy grad to this year’s crop, and happy lives to my former Grade 12s and I can’t wait to work with my future Grade 12s! I throw my proverbial grad cap in the air in your honour!
Month: June 2016
June 19 – father figure
330/365 – people to thank who have had an impact on me. It’s dad’s day. The day when male role models/caregivers/fathers/father figures are being recognized for their part. Yes, I’m the first to say that moms are way important overall for children but if the dad is in the picture, he also matters and makes a difference. Dads can be grand-dads and uncles, brothers and cousins especially in this day and age. For all those fathers out there that may not be in their kids’ lives daily but do try, kudos to you. For all those awesome fathers who are there for their kids, same on you. And for those guys who are stepping up and being “dad” (whatever that may mean), well major props for you. Yes, I’m second fiddle to my kids’ mom and I totally understand that bond. My kids don’t necessarily appreciate me in the same way and I get it – especially with the angsty teenager – oh how I miss those elementary days with hand-made crafts and big hugs 😉 However, I was the same way and didn’t realize the value of my dad until much later. Yes, he wasn’t around literally and figuratively but he did the best he could given his circumstances. Thank you to him and to all the uncles who stepped in and helped out my mom to get us raised. Most of you were not “real” uncles in the traditional sense of the word as you were more friends of the family or distant relatives but you were at times more real than my biological uncles and I truly appreciate you being there for assisting the family. This one also goes out to my mom who was my dad for most of that time – took on both roles and yes, it was tough but you did the best you could and that’s not forgotten. I know I’m not the best of dads by far as I didn’t have a consistent father figure to model myself but I try. Hopefully one day, I have the same fatherly connections that I see out there in the social media world and will eventually measure up to my kids’ expectations but until then, I will keep on keeping on and try to get this dad thing right! Cheers to all the dads!
June 18 – baby sister
329/365 – people to thank who have had an impact on me. I’ll probably come off bitter or mean-spirited with this gratitude post but that is not my intent going into it. I have a sister who is almost 15 years my junior and it’s obvious that we have major differences given our age gap. My father was released from Riverview after about a decade or so once his schizophrenia was properly diagnosed and managed with medication and about a couple of years later my youngest sister Sandee was born. I can admit that I was subconsciously jealous of her and the parents that she had in that she had both and my dad was working, more or less cognizant of what was going on in the world because of the meds and adored her. However, the thing about having a younger sibling was that I had an early start on learning what parenting was all about as myself and my other sister (two years my junior) were basically responsible for her as both my parents worked at that time. I learned how to feed, bathe, clothe and change a young infant. Did I love it? Hell no LOL. Whereas all my teenage counterparts were living teenage lives, I was at home with my sisters responsible for them but I still had fun – I remember good times with Sandee – playing board games, fashion showing her Barbies, making her watch movies with me (barring the scary ones), playing dress-up, being host to her and my cousins talk shows and a host of other activities. Sadly, Sandee doesn’t remember this and has bitter feelings towards me as she feels that I wasn’t the older brother that I should have been (which boggles my mind) and I wasn’t there for her. Yes, I may not have been that dad/brother figure that she desired but that wasn’t my responsibility. In the past, I tried explaining to her (both of us as adults) that I was almost 18 years old when she was three and I was in university and had to focus on myself and I also wanted to be away from my parents as I needed to assert my own independence but because she had some idealized version of what brothers were supposed to be, I have never measured up in her eyes. I also tried to get her to see my perspective of what it was like for me to grow up with a (schizophrenic) dad who was institutionalized and unfortunately she couldn’t understand it and trivialized it – It’s sad that we have been estranged and I have not seen her daughter who was born almost two years ago nor her son who I had a great bond with. Life is like that unfortunately especially because of family dynamics. I still care for my sister even though we have our differences. Unfortunately, because both of us are of the same ilk, our pride gets in the way and I can admit that we are both to blame in the way our relationship has turned out. Wherever we may be in life, I am glad that I had Sandee as we needed each other when my father passed away three years ago. Who knows if we will even mend our broken bonds but I’m still glad that I have my sibling(s).
June 17 – bender helpers
328/365 – people to thank who have had an impact on me. With a lot of these gratitude posts, I’ve been pretty raw and at times self-deprecating. No one can accuse me of not being honest within these gratitude posts. In writing this post, I have to once again be honest with myself and not put myself in a great light. Every couple of years, because of some special event and being with friends, I will imbibe much more than my fair share. In the moment, I am enjoying life and then Freudian psychology comes into play – my Id dominates my Superego and bullies my Ego and I give in to the indulgences of whatever might be the drink du jour. I’m glad though that this happens only rarely (perhaps once every two to four years) or else Freud would be having a field day analyzing me 😉 I am also glad that my Id (hidden but true nature) when it comes out is a loving, happy-go-lucky guy rather than what some are – mean, angry drunks. But what is more important is all the people who have had my back when I’ve had way too much. Any number of them could just turn their backs as I am an adult male but time and time again, I have made it home safely because of the caring people that I surround myself with who go out of their ways to get me on my way. Yes, I sometimes cringe when I recall some of those nights but it’s important to do so. As I said, fortunately, I don’t have to regret any of my actions towards others on those occasions as I am a good guy at heart but some of my antics, however, humorous are embarrassing when they are relayed to me but hey, if I can provide a little entertainment at my own expense, I guess I can’t complain because that’s the least I can do for all of those that care enough to get me back home in one piece and make sure I am okay. Yes, you have to unwind (maybe not to that extent) but it’s so nice to know that all my life I’ve had people looking out for me when I have. Thank you all (you know who you are) for being my bender helpers and getting this guy home in one piece and safely – so very much appreciated.
June 16 – i need u
327/365 – people to thank who have had an impact on me. We all need support systems – people to be there for us. Whether it’s to get us through the tough times or the happy ones, it is amazing when there are people to go through the experiences with. With this past week’s events with the shooting in Orlando, I have been reading about the outpouring of support and camaraderie that is being shown. It’s amazing to know that in times of need, people are there whether physically or in spirit – even messages on social media make a difference for people who are not directly affected by events but are still feeling a sense of loss and thus become a part of a larger community. I love the fact that there are forums and blogs of support also to get through whatever life throws you. I have a medical condition called sarcoidosis and belong to a few forums. I don’t contribute but creep to read what people are going through and because of them, I don’t feel alone with my condition when I can see myself in the writings that are taking place. If not for these community forums, I would only have the advice of my doctor. This is the same thing when I was going through my separation. To understand a little more about what I was feeling and especially what my son may be going through, support came both through personal friends and through online communications. I’m not one for unsolicited advice but I do appreciate true support when I’m looking for it just to get a perspective and today I thank both the online world and real people who have given me information, a sense of community and just the understanding that I need to deal with whatever it is that I’m dealing with. I hope to rely on y’all in the future because I’m not ever going to be done needing.
June 15 – witness this!
326/365 – people to thank who have had an impact on me. Has anyone said something so profound that it changed the way you think about things? I’ve had a handful of those significant quotes or sayings and one that really hit home much later in life was what my Accounting teacher said in high school: three things are inevitable: death, taxes and a car accident but the unknown is how big and bad it’s going to be (I’m paraphrasing of course). That one thing stayed with me. Let’s ignore taxes (yes, I’d really like to ignore them) and let’s not talk about death. That leaves car accidents. I’ve had many – but save for one, they have all been very minor fender benders! That one though was the mother of all – I hit a person. A child. With my car. One second I was casually driving along Riverdale Drive and the next I hear a loud thud see something roll across the windshield and over the roof and off the trunk. I instantly stopped. I got out. I saw the car in the opposite direction stop. The male and female passengers yelling “We saw everything!!” I was in a complete shock. My life as I knew it was over. Or so I thought. Firetruck, ambulance, police all there in a matter of moments. Did I say my life was over? Unbeknownst to me, the witnesses were yelling to me that they saw everything at that I was not at fault. The boy (who ended up being a student of mine in Grade 12 – yes, another story) ran out of the driveway into the middle of the road and into my car that happened to be passing by. If not for those witnesses, it would basically have been a long investigation looking at skid marks and my story. Those witnesses stopped and spent half an hour of their lives to talk to the police and write their story which helped me beyond belief. I often have thought of them for making an otherwise monumentally stressful situation so much easier. Why am I remembering and thanking them today – because I was that witness today. Surreally, I saw a similar incident play out only hours ago. Instantly I pulled over to give my statement exactly because of what those witnesses had done for me and the driver of the vehicle involved with the biker who just pulled into the road without warning was my neighbour!! She was beside herself and I remember myself in that same moment. What those witnesses did for me to ease my anxiety is exactly what I had to do for this driver. I’d like to think that I would have stopped regardless as would be my legal duty but regardless, those witnesses made me stop my life for 45 minutes and do the right thing just to help someone who didn’t do anything wrong even though they were behind the wheel. Once again, thank you complete strangers for initially helping me but even more affecting me as a person – never forgotten!
June 14 – gettin’ my Indian on
325/365 – people to thank who have had an impact on me. Writing these posts, I’ve realized that there are many people who have influenced me on my life journey inside and outside of my ethnic heritage. For any of you who have had to balance the fine line between two worlds, you will understand this post. I was born and raised in Canada. My parents were immigrants but they immediately assimilated into the Western culture as that was the way back in the early 1960s. Growing up, I knew that we were different – yes, obviously because of skin colour but also because of “rules” that we were subjected to in our homes that my friends were not. However, being the oldest and often just with my mom and sister, I was able to shape my mom into what was the ‘right’ thing as opposed to what her more traditional family was telling her. I was proud growing up ‘western’ (no offense meant to anyone) as I was able to traverse life a lot easier back in the 70s and 80s without anyone really paving the way for me. Our parents, as well as those of our cousins (all, also born in Canada), tried to inculcate Indian/traditional ways but most of us rebelled as we didn’t understand the restrictions and limitations. We overcame and basically moulded our parents. However, we didn’t know what we were really missing about our heritage until the 4th and final sibling of my mom emigrated from India to Canada with her family. Initially most of us cousins were a bit reluctant in hanging out with our new cousins as they were – well very Indian 😉 I felt I had nothing in common with them other than that our parents were siblings. My mom insisted that I have all three of my new cousins (with their spouses) over for dinner and I argued against it but caved. Yes, it was awkward and even communications was tough as their English was minimal as was my Punjabi. However, our familial bonds started to entwine us and soon enough we were laughing and learning. They tried martinis and wine, I tried my Punjabi language. We looked at photos and they reminisced about how they first met the fat Randy in India when I was 7 or 8 years old and then the total transformed Randy of 19 once again in India. I cringed but I loved it – we were family. These were my cousins. Over the years, they have bonded me to my heritage more than anything could have and I try hard to be worthy of their respect but I know they respect me regardless. Thank you Jeeti, Jasvir and Gurmeet for making me feel proud of my Indian heritage and family. I raise a cup of chai with a Crown Royal chaser in your honour ; )
June 13 – la bibliotheque
324/365 – people to thank who have had an impact on me. Tonight’s gratitude post is not about a person but more about a place. Yes, I know I’m changing the parameters but it does involve people who are in said place. Growing up, my escape, my solace, my comfort zone was the library. In the library, I found all sorts of geeks and freaks like me. It was the Star Wars Cantina bar minus the alcohol and music. This is where I felt comfortable and this is where I belonged. The library was my go-to while most of the high schoolers were either out smoking or at the locals McDs. I spent many a good lunch hour in the library reading books and completing assignments. It was my refuge from the daily grind of high school. I found similar souls in the library. Yes, we didn’t converse much – after all, it was a library but I felt a sense of camaraderie with my people. Most of us were on the outskirts and spent our time there – I’d like to think we were conscientious but it’s probably because we had no other place to go to. As I moved onto university, pleasantly, my looks came and the library at UBC was more as a social hanging place but it was still a part of my life. No, I didn’t spend a lot of time there academically except to get materials for coursework as it wasn’t called the Aloha Deck for scholarly purposes!! As an adult, I have loved libraries – I love to people watch and am fascinated by the books people are reading. I love the wide space and the possibility of escape both literally and figuratively. It’s apropros that I am writing this post tonight as I am contemplating a move to become our school librarian. As it stands, I am pretty much set against it but I have many people who think I should be the guy to take it on and there is a piece of me who says that I should give back to in that the library gave me a place to be me. Damn you guilt ; ) All those things aside, thank you to the library and all the unique, quirky, left of center, withdrawn, geeky, nerdy, Randy Sangha people that were there that made that place a home for me. I flip a page in your honour!
June 12 – cyberfriends
323/365 – people to thank who have had an impact on me. This gratitude post is a strange one for me in that I am different than most people from my age group when it comes to the online world. I have been connected to cyberspace well before it became mainstream. I was on ICQ, the way, way old version of messenger. I was on a bunch of forums. I followed rooms (the earlier precursors of blogs) before they became de rigeur. I followed an online music forum and became “friends” with people from all over the world and ended up becoming a moderator for the website – over a decade ago. We had a community. Almost 2000 followers. I spent countless hours in front of the computer moderating various threads on music. Jenna, Liam, Brett and myself were the admin. We were approving who got into our music sharing forum. It was the new era of the internet. It was slightly bizarre for me. I didn’t really believe in online friends but here I was with online friends! People that I had never met in my life. It became surreal when I received Christmas cards in the mail from them! Today, no one blinks an eye in that one has “friends” in cyber world but I still am surprised that I, a guy who is in the here and now world, got caught up in the virtual world. I guess I am slightly embarrassed as for a while, I spent a lot of time with my “online” friends than I did with the real world. Today, I’m all about the real world and the online world is where I do this – blog my gratitude. However, I can not totally dismiss the online friends and life I had a decade or so ago because if not for them, I would not be expressing myself and using cyberspace as a valuable tool to let everyone know about how grateful I have been and I am for all the people who have come in and out of my life to make me the man I am today. Thank you cyberfriends for giving me a perspective and insight into cyberworld as a medium for expression and for being!
June 11 – Queesborough queens
322/365 – people to thank who have had an impact on me. Do you remember much about elementary school? Especially the early years? I was born in the royal city – New Westminster. My parents moved to Queensborough where I went to school from Kindergarten to grade 3. With no one to take me to school, my mom had arranged it so that two girls in the neighbourhood on Lawrence Avenue would walk me to and from school with them. I, with a few of these gratitude honorees, do not recall their first names but do remember their last name – Kandola. One of the girls would have been a year or two older than me and the other one would have been at least 5 or so years older. It was very comforting for me to have these older “sisters” to watch over me and many times, I would stay at their place until my mom could come and get me. I don’t recall where my sister was during this time (as she wouldn’t have been in school). The Kandola girls showed me what kindness was and this was the safest of my times as a child as no bullying happened to me until we moved to Richmond in grade 4. I didn’t realize how great I had it and have reflected upon it several times. I remember being in my mid 30s or so being at a reception party and the older of the sisters coming up to my mom and giving her a hug. I didn’t know who it was and when my mom pointed me out, she was in shock but came in for a big hug like a long lost adopted sibling. It was surreal as I do kind of remember her but it was also very heartwarming as she felt like I was her little brother. We reminisced for a short while and although, at that time, I wasn’t able to express to her how safe she had made me felt and how it was nice to have older, caring kids in the neighbourhood, I feel that she probably had an inkling. Thank you Kandola girls for giving me peace and tranquility in my younger years before the eye of the storm would eventually make it my way – perhaps I needed the comfort and care of you two sisters and the memory of it to get through all the tough times. Here’s to you both!
randysangha 