April 16 – i’m too much

266/365 – people to thank who have had an impact on me.  Personality – it’s what it’s all about.  Either you draw people to you and you are in the game or you are on the sidelines watching.  But both types of people are valuable and necessary in life.  In the last few months, I have learned – and I know this is going to sound so strange yet obvious – that I have a very loud, very outgoing, bold personality.  Honestly, I did not know how much of an “in your face” personality I had until I was told by a few friends casually but as a compliment and also by my therapist as well as by a stranger that I had just met.  I knew that I was not shy but I didn’t realize that my energy and exuberance could be draining for some people just as it is invigorating for others.   I, myself, don’t get to see nor experience my personality as I’m on the inside looking out if that makes sense.  I have heard from students that my personality makes for interesting and engaging classes but is that just from the vocal few who could be a minority?  I sure hope not.  In writing this, I wonder how many people have shied away from me because I live my life with such brazen assurance.  For all of you who can handle my personality (something I definitely can’t change and I have tried in the last couple of weeks to no avail) and still enjoy my company, I thank you.  For all of you who have told me that you need Randy-lite or Randy in small doses, yes it stings a little but I understand and I am glad you were brave enough to let me know and make me conscious of how I come across – doubt I can change that though – but you still hang with me and I’m grateful.  For all of you who shied away, you probably aren’t reading this but if you are, come back – I’m the yin to your yang!!  😉  But seriously, I understand your mindset more now since I’ve been studying personality dynamics and appreciate that some people aren’t a match.  Thank you all for making me become a little more self-aware because even at 50, I still got growing to do in all aspects of life.

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