December 1 – not a sub but a real teacher

130/365 – people to thank who have had an impact on me. I am a perfectionist. I’ve admitted it before. I was raised to be nothing less than perfect and for the longest time, that is what had defined me and if I failed at anything, that definitely defined me! Given this misguided idealism, I always felt I had to be in control of things – leading projects, heading committees, directing events, organizing outings etc. Being on the sidelines wasn’t an option as then there was a chance of failure. In the last couple of years, I really learned what it meant to be perfect – one can’t be. That was a hard and bitter pill to swallow when all my life I had strived to be something that was never attainable but once I threw that pill out, the accompanying water in the glass was so much clearer. I had that same purist attitude when it came to my teaching. If I wasn’t the one teaching the lesson, my students would be at a loss. I didn’t take sick days as I would have to reteach things as no one could teach to my standards. I could not put my students at a disadvantage. I easily created a list that justified why I could not take time away from “my kids” learning. However, in the last couple of years with events such as my dad’s passing, health issues past and present and personal issues, I was forced to take time off. At the back of my mind, I kept thinking that I should be in the classroom and felt guilty taking time for myself. I also thought the classes couldn’t go on without me but of course, they did and the learning continued and I returned to perhaps a slight blip and not the tumult that I expected.   I have to thank the Teacher on Call/Substitute Teachers that come in with nary a day’s notice and take up the task of teaching students that they don’t know/are resistant to them, end up tasked with subject matter that they may not be familiar with and stepping into someone else’s established routine and usually for an undetermined length of time. I am glad that I have come to a place in my life where I can give you full reign and trust you to take over in my absence and make all the decisions as you are a Teacher and not a Substitute and back you up when I return to class. Thank you for making my working life easier and allowing me the time to get back to my regular self and taking care of things in my absence. To Teachers on Call/Substitute Teacher, I raise my lesson plan in your honour!


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