September 19 – mind games

57/365 – people to thank who have had an impact on me. The biggest lie I was ever told was back in elementary school. As you are no doubt aware, I was bullied constantly about my appearance and some of the teachers made me repeat the phrase “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me”. Uhm, no – it didn’t really hurt any less – instead I just kind of absorbed all the abuse on some subconscious level. To this day, I still see that fat kid in the mirror. I’ve been told numerous times as an adult that I’m a bit obsessed with my appearance and I don’t deny it – when growing up your entire worth was devalued based on appearance, it is bound to have some latent residual effects as an adult. It’s crazy how psychology works and perhaps if I was made aware of therapy as a young adult and if there wasn’t a stigma attached to it, I would be more comfortable in the body I am in today. In the last few years, I have seen a therapist regularly and have to say that she has made a world of difference for me with all sorts of issues from my familial relationships to my father’s death to work concerns. When I first met B, I quickly judged this older, short woman thinking she wouldn’t be of much help but here I am two years down the road and through her support – acting as a sounding board, teaching me calming breathing techniques, giving me advice based on research, helping me make decisions and generally being an unbiased, open non-judgmental person listening to and reflecting my thoughts, I have made strides in my personal development and growth. I know most of us are quick to go see all sorts of doctors and specialists for whatever ails us on a physiological level but it’s the psychological that I see as the most important. I am very glad that I have been open to therapy and that therapy has helped me but so much more important is that I have found a great therapist. Thank you B for your valued help in the toughest few years of my life.


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