September 1 – to my haters

39/365 – people to thank who have had an impact on me. I’m a month into the gratitude posts and this is probably the third hardest one I’ve written. This is to all the people who have stepped away from me over the past year and a half while I went through the hardest time in my life when I needed your support the most. Yes, it’s a backhanded gratitude post but if not for all of you who silently speculated, gossiped, outright talked to others about what you surmised was going on in my life, never once messaged me, never sent me a supportive text, never asked how I was doing, never communicated with me (neighbours, co-workers past and present, friends, family – immediate and extended and marital), I thank you – you have made me much stronger and I developed a great support system despite you. For all who have been wondering, I did not want to publicly share what was going on in my life as it was a process that not only affected myself but my family; however, I am ready now and am putting it out here for the record. My wife and I separated a year ago to get some breathing space to figure things out – mutual and amicable. I’m not embarrassed or ashamed – these things happen in relationships and we are working on it together and in the process of trying to figure out how to keep the family unit intact for our children’s sake and work on our relationship – this is what you needed to know and now you have it. I thank the types of people who I outlined above – as a singer once said, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and oh the mental strength I gained over the year of turning 50 because of my situation and because of you. The old me would have gotten angry and bitter at you, would have confronted you, would have talked about you in the same manner, would have festered inside basically. The new me, created by you, is stronger and more self-reliant, is happier, is comfortable in who he is, is aware of who his support system is, is amicable towards you and is doing the best he can given his circumstances. The new me is not bitter towards you, although it may read that way, the new me has been strangely liberated by you and for this, the new me thanks you.

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